In Her Words: Motherhood Series with Kirst Herbert

In Her Words is a space for honest reflections on motherhood, the quiet moments, the unexpected challenges, the deep love that reshapes us. Each story shared here is a reminder that while every journey is different, no mother walks it alone. Through these words, we honour the beauty, complexity, and transformation that motherhood brings.

Name: Kirst Herbert
Children: Jack 9, Harry 7 and Frankie 5
Location: Perth, Western Australia

A reflection on becoming a mother.

When you think back to the moment you became a mother, what do you remember most clearly?

How incredible the female body is! I was in awe of what my body went through to nurture and deliver that precious little life.

 

What surprised you about motherhood that no one really prepared you for?

With my first baby, everything felt a little harder than I expected.

I thought the connection would be instant, love at first sight. When it wasn’t, I felt ashamed to admit that I didn’t feel that overwhelming bond straight away. Although this was my reality for my first child, I was surprised how your unconditional love can expand with each child.

Looking back now, I realise becoming a mother for the first time is such a profound shift in reality. No matter how prepared we think we are, it’s a huge emotional and physical transition.

In what ways have you changed or grown since becoming a mother?

Motherhood has cracked me open.

It has made me more resilient and more patient. It has taught me to cherish the ordinary, everyday moments, the ones that might otherwise pass unnoticed.

It has also shown me how to weather storms with a depth of unconditional love that I never knew existed before becoming a mother.

Are there parts of you that feel quieter now? Are there parts that feel stronger?

Motherhood has strengthened my self-compassion and quietened the voice of self-criticism.

What is a small, ordinary moment with your children that feels deeply meaningful?

The first hug in the morning feels sacred in our home. I make sure each child has that uninterrupted moment with me. I wrap them in a hug and hold them until they let go. It calms my nervous system just as much as it calms theirs.

Another special ritual in our home is our nighttime song. Reading and singing before bed is non-negotiable.

Sometimes it’s simple lullabies other nights it’s a beautiful Beatles ballad like Golden Slumbers, Hey Jude or Yesterday. Hearing them sing along often brings happy tears to my eyes.

Those small moments of connection feel incredibly special.

What does love look like when you're exhausted?

When I’m low on energy, love often looks like slowing everything down.

We’ll cuddle up together with a book, creating a calm moment in the day.

Reminding myself that I don't have to be constantly on. Showing my kids that it's healthy for me to have quiet time too. Looking after myself and honouring what I'm needing in that moment.

What has motherhood taught you about patience, strength, or surrender?

My children constantly remind me to slow down and surrender.

Sometimes this happens when I’m rushing them or trying to get through a long to-do list. They pull me back into the moment.

Patience is definitely a daily practice. Each child has taught me this in different ways, especially when big emotions take over.

Strength, for me, has come through boundaries. As my children grow older, they naturally ask for more. Setting clear boundaries has strengthened me as a parent. When they know what to expect, it removes room for unnecessary conflict or disappointment.

What do you feel most proud of in your motherhood journey so far?

I’m most proud of the way motherhood has changed me. My children have brought out the best in me.

Very early on, I realised that my children mirror what they see. If I wanted them to value themselves, I needed to learn to value myself too.

Learning to love myself unconditionally became important not just for me, but for them.

I am incredibly proud to be their mum.

What kind of legacy do you hope to pass on?

I hope to pass on loyalty, reliability, and resilience.

I want them to understand that everything has a season. Even difficult moments eventually pass.

The uncomfortable experiences in life often become the ones that shape us most, building resilience, strength, and growth.

If you could speak to yourself at the beginning of motherhood, what would you say?

Motherhood is a journey, there's no place for perfectionism. It will challenge you more than you could ever imagine, but it will also bring moments of love, connection and pride that will move you to the happiest tears.

You are nurturing and loving the next generation, what a privilege that is. 

Ask for help and mostly accept the help. Say yes to the meals. Let people fold the washing, do the laundry, or clean the floors.

Be okay with the mess, although simple tasks like making the bed each morning and keeping the kitchen bench free of clutter will make you feel like you are nailing life.

 

        

Motherhood is not made up of one defining moment, but thousands of quiet ones — the hugs, the patience, the surrender, the love that grows over time. These are the moments that shape us just as much as they shape our children.

With Love,

Kirst x x x