Motherhood Series with Pip McFarlane

IN HER WORDS

featuring

Pip McFarlane

Borden, Western Australia  •  Mother of Alice (7), Jack (5) & Lexi (2)

I met Pip in the very early days of boarding school and I knew almost straight away that she was my person. Fiercely independent, quick to laugh, always up for a good time, though decidedly not a morning person. You always knew when you’d interrupted her sleep-in.

Pip valued her personal space, which was a rare luxury at boarding school. I remember one rainy weekend, I found her playing guitar and singing, this is one of my favourite memories of Pip, thinking to myself, one day when she becomes a Mum her children are going to be so lucky to be lulled to sleep by that voice.

These days Pip lives hours away from me, in a beautiful country home overlooking the Stirling Ranges in the South West of WA, raising three calm, curious little ones. Her reflections on motherhood carry the same quiet steadiness she’s always had, and it’s such an honour to share them here.

 

Here are Pip’s words.

 

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When you think back to the moment you became a mother, what do you remember most clearly?

I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I was waking from surgery, tangled in hospital cords and IV lines, nauseous, with a pounding headache and a lot of morphine on board after a long and traumatic 48 hours. The first thing I remember hearing when I came to was, “It’s a girl.” In that moment, everything felt okay again. I remember feeling deeply grateful to the people who brought her safely into the world. What my body had been through no longer mattered, my experience and my pain immediately became secondary to her existence. And in many ways, that is motherhood in a nutshell.

 

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What surprised you about motherhood that no one really prepared you for?

How constant it is. The mental load, more than anything. It didn’t feel overwhelming at first, those early months, even the first couple of years, felt surprisingly calm and joyful for me. But over time, as our family grew, it became more layered. With three children, there is always something needed. A snack, a cuddle, a clean pair of clothes… and dinner. Every. Single. Night. Even when I’m not with them, I’m thinking about what they need next. I love it deeply, but it takes up a lot of space.

 

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In what ways have you grown or changed since becoming a mother?

There is more love in everything I do. At times less patience, and definitely more yelling, but more love. It’s present in the smallest, most ordinary tasks, getting up in the night, making lunchboxes, driving long distances for their activities. Before children, I was very much the main character in my own life. Now there are three small people who have pushed me firmly into more of a supporting role. And while that’s a change, it’s one I’m very content with… for now.

 

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What is a small, ordinary moment with your child that feels deeply meaningful to you?

The way they come straight to me in the morning for a cuddle. My youngest will climb into bed, place her hands on my face, close her eyes and whisper, “I love you too.” It’s such a small and quiet moment, but it also feels like something I’ll dream about when I’m old.

In the early hours and at the end of the day, it’s Mum they reach for. At times it annoys me, but deep down, knowing I’m the one who can help them through whatever is going on brings a certain kind of joy.

 

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What does love look like when you’re exhausted?

It looks like changing bedsheets at 2am and tucking them back into a warm bed with a kiss when you can barely keep your eyes open. Or caring for them through a long night of sickness. Not glamorous, but very real.

 

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Is there a daily ritual that grounds you in this season of motherhood?

I’m not big on rituals, but I do look forward to small resets throughout the day. Putting my AirPods in and listening to a podcast, or getting stuck into a bit of office work, gives me a moment to think about something other than snacks, laundry, and logistics.

 

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What do you feel most proud of in your motherhood journey so far?

That I’m raising three kind, social, and curious children. They enjoy learning, love being around people, and feel comfortable in the world, and I think that’s a pretty solid start to life.

 

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What kind of legacy do you hope to pass on?

Family is everything. A sense that home, wherever Mum and Dad are, is a safe place. That they can always come back, always ask for help, even when they get things wrong. I want to be the first person they call when they’re in trouble, even if it’s the middle of the night and they’ve landed themselves somewhere they shouldn’t be. Also… just sing or dance. I tell my kids all the time, it’s impossible to be sad when you’re singing and dancing!

 

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If you could speak to yourself at the beginning of motherhood, what would you say?

I would say: I am jealous. Meeting your babies for the first time is the best feeling in the world. There is something very special about being at the very beginning of it all.